


Of Swords and Fairies

by Blackstarsabove



Series: Embers [2]
Category: The Last Kingdom (TV), The Warrior Chronicles | The Saxon Stories - Bernard Cornwell
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Finan is an angel, M/M, Mentions of Irish mythology, Mentions of Norse Mythology, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24615970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackstarsabove/pseuds/Blackstarsabove
Summary: Finan makes good on his promise and stays by Sihtric's side.Now, two months after Sihtric's capture, they try to work out their feelings for one another depite the obstacles.
Relationships: Finan/Sihtric (The Last Kingdom)
Series: Embers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771612
Comments: 6
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the continuation of my previous work "The Start of a Journey" so if you haven't already you can read that for context.  
> As always feedback is welcome💕

Soon winter would turn into spring once more and the first flowers would break through the thin blanket of snow that covered the lands.  
It was the neverending circle of life. All would die before it would live again.  
One day, the wolf would swallow the moon and the world would end so that from its ashes a new world could be born.

Sihtric smiled fondly as he remembered the tales of his childhood, small glimpses of happiness despite how hard his life had been then.  
He drew his fur coat tighter around his shoulders when he felt the cold nip at his pale skin and a comforting warmth spread throughout his body, so different from the warmth of the sun.  
Finan had gifted him the coat after they had returned to Eoferwic two months ago and Sihtric treated it like his most priced possession.  
It was soft and warm, a dark gray that reminded him of the storm clouds before a thunderstorm. Those had always brought him comfort just like Finan did now.

Sihtric sighed softly, moving from where he sat on the floor to place more wood into the fire and chase away the chill.  
He watched as the flames engulfed the wood for a while before returning his attention to the small figure he was carving. It was a horse with a long mane and tail, a creature from one of Finan's many tales.

Often times, when sleep avoided Sihtric in the wake of another nightmare, they would sit in front of the fire together and Finan would tell him of fairies and banshees, of leprechauns and witches and Sihtric would listen until sleep took him once again.

Kelpie, the horse like creature he was carving at the moment, was one of Sihtric's favorite creatures.  
They lured people in with their beauty but when some poor soul decided to climb on their back, to try and tame these majestic creatures, they would drown and eat them, leaving only the heart and liver of their victims behind.  
Sihtric admired them and in some ways even aspired to be like them. He too wanted to kill whoever dared to try and take his freedom away from him.

His train of thought was interrupted when Finan entered, carrying a few extra furs and a cloth wrapped around what Sihtric assumed to be food. The Dane smiled a little at the other man as greeting, finishing his carving before joining him by the small table in the middle of the room.

"You should thank me. I knocked out a man to get you this", Finan joked, handing him an apple. The younger man smiled a bit, taking a bite as Finan placed half a loaf of bread in front of him.  
"Uhtred fears we will run out of food before spring comes", Finan informed him, taking a seat on the bench across from Sihtric, "he wants us to try hunting tomorrow."  
Sihtric nodded a little.  
It was unlikely that they would catch anything during this cold and dark season but the harvest had been meager this year due to Guhtred's lack of experience with being a king, so they had to at least try.

"Will they visit tonight?", Sihtric asked, pouring himself a cup of ale and filling Finan's as well when the Irishman held it out to him.  
Even though his throat was healed again and speaking no longer caused him discomfort, Sihtric usually said very little. It was simply a habit, albeit one that Finan seemed determined to break.  
He'd often ask him questions that required a more complex answer than just the shaking or nodding of his head or he'd ask him to tell stories of his gods in exchange for his own tales.  
To his own surprise, Sihtric found that he didn't mind much.  
He enjoyed talking to Finan, even if it was just about meaningless things such as the weather, because the older man respected him in a way that was new to him.  
He let him talk without interrupting him, even waited when Sihtric had trouble finding the right word in English.  
He listened to him patiently and when their friends joined them for a few drinks, the Irishman made sure he was heard and not ignored as he had been for most of his life.

"No, not tonight. Clapa and Rypere have to man the walls and Uhtred will drink with his brother and the other Danes. He asked if we wanted to join them."  
Sihtric smiled a bit as he remembered the last few times they had joined his fellow Danes.  
Finan always insisted on tagging along and the younger was grateful for that, especially in the early days after his capture where he had rarely felt safe around other men.  
The Irishman did speak danish but not the fast and slurred danish of drunk Danes and it wasn't hard to tell that he mainly joined them so Sihtric could feel safe, knowing that someone he could trust was around.  
He trusted Uhtred too, of course, and even Ragnar and Brida to a certain extent but they didn't understand him the way Finan did. He doubted that anyone did.

"No...not tonight" Sihtric decided, glancing over at the small horse figurine he had made. Finan followed his look, smiling when he recognized what it was.  
"Kelpie?" He asked, going to pick it up from where it had been left on the floor.  
Sihtric hummed in agreement, feeling embarrassed when Finan inspected it thorougly. He must have messed it up somewhere.  
But Finan brought it back over to the table, setting it down between the two of them.  
"You have a lot of talent. It's beautiful" he told him and it really seemed earnest. Sihtric couldn't help the small sigh of relief that escaped him, smiling as well.

"Almost as beautiful is you."  
Sihtric froze for a moment, convinced that he had misheard what Finan had just said or maybe he had just translated it the wrong way.  
"What?"  
"Nothing. Forget about it."  
Finan shook his head a little, rising from the bench again before grabbing his coat.  
"I'll get us some more firewood. I'll be back in a bit."

Sihtric hummed, picking up the wodden horse again. Surely he had just imagined the compliment.  
He had been complimented on his looks before, by both men and women in fact, but usually they did so only with bad intentions. Often times they said it while touching him in places that made him uncomfortable or in a mocking tone that made everyone present in the room with them smirk strangely.  
In the end they'd take him to their bed whether he wanted it or not.  
His captors had said it too. He had heard them say it to one another one night, when he had been bound and completely at their mercy.

The memory hit him so suddenly that he gasped, almost sure he could feel their dirty hands on his skin again. He shivered and before he could ask Finan to stay, before he could beg not to be left alone with his thoughts, he felt the Irishman's strong arms around him, grounding him.  
He gripped onto the other man tightly, feeling as though he was drowning in the memories.

"Breathe" it was a simple command, one he tried to follow but no matter how much he tried, he still felt like he was suffocating, like there was no more air left in the room.  
But Finan was there, holding him close, keeping him safe. He tried to focus on his voice, to make out the words and after a while, after what felt like eternity, his head started to clear.  
"I'm here" Finan mumbled, having switched to Danish at some point as it seemed to have a more calming effect on the younger.

Sihtric felt tired suddenly, resting his head in the crook of Finan's neck after the older man had wiped his tears away.  
They didn't speak about what had happened.  
Instead Finan picked him up, carrying him over to the fire. The Dane stayed where he was, hiding away from the world as Finan told him tales of mythical creatures, of fairies and banshees, of leprechauns and witches and everything else that roamed the green fields of Ireland.

Those stories brought the Dane comfort, despite how dark and gruesome some of them were.  
They were glimpses into another world, far from the one that had brought Sihtric so much pain.  
And it was Finan telling them to him, the man he trusted more than anyone else.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finan has a decision to make that has the potential to change the relationship between him and Sihtric forever.

Morning came far too quickly and as the streets filled with the sounds of children playing and their mothers talking amongst one another, Finan woke slowly.   
Hardly any light filtered in through the small window in the room, the sun covered by dark, heavy clouds that brought promise of snow later in the day.

Sihtric was still fast asleep next to him, the steady rhythm in which his chest rose and fell as he breathed easing Finan's mind.

Not too long ago Sihtric had suffered with every breath he took, a parting gift from his captors. Finan had kept him on strict bed rest during that time, making sure to help him in any way that he could. Whether it was by fetching him food and ale when he was able to stomach it again or telling stories when the Dane seemed bored didn't matter to him.   
Within a few weeks, Sihtric's condition had improved considerably and after the first month had passed since their return, Finan had started to train the younger man.  
Sihtric had grown stronger since then, though his body was lean rather than bulky like Clapa's, which was to their advantage when fighting together. Sihtric was easily able to match and even outmatch Finan's pace, balancing out the strength he lacked compared to most men.

Finan would have to wake him soon so the snow wouldn't surprise them while they were out hunting but for just a moment he wanted to admire the Dane's beauty.  
He had tried to put his own feelings aside for Sihtric's sake and most of the time he succeeded because he knew that the younger relied on him more than anyone else. He had trusted him when he was the most vulnerable and Finan wouldn't use that to his own advantage.  
Having the boy so close to himself, he found, was more than he deserved either way.

In the short time they had spent together Finan had found that the spark he saw in Sihtric's eyes in the few happy and carefree moments they had spent together was a sight more beatiful than even the rainbow specks he had seen through the broken glass and he always found himself longing to see the Dane smile again.

The Irishman reached out carefully, brushing a strand of dark brown hair away from Sihtric's pale face. He had yet to braid it again, instead keeping it tied at the back of his head to avoid it falling into his face.  
Finan had thought about offering to braid it for him but he knew by now that among the Danes braiding hair was considered an intimate tradition that was done only between lovers or siblings. And as much as Finan wished it were so, they weren't lovers.  
Still Finan had thought about offering it, to see where it would take them but what had happened the night before had made him rethink that decision.  
Sihtric wasn't ready to be with him. He would think that he had to agree, to thank Finan for his help because the Dane always had to work for everything he wanted. No one had given him anything for free.  
Then again, they would march on Dunholm by the time spring came and there was a very realistic chance that one of them, or maybe even both of them, would not make it back.  
Their numbers were small and Dunholm was a stronghold deemed impossible to conquer and even if they managed to get passed the walls they would still be outnumbered.  
The thought of losing Sihtric pained him.  
Finan had learned the hard way that life did not always go according to plan. Tragedies happened unexpectedly, big and small alike, and often nothing could be done to avoid them. One could only try to live everyday without regrets.  
But now was not the time for that. Sihtric was still too vulnerable and he would rather regret not having acted on his feelings than having to blame himself for hurting Sihtric even more. 

Finan sighed, leaning down to place a kiss on Sihtric's forehead, a show of affection that the Dane was oblivious to now, while sleep still kept him wrapped up in its tight embrace.  
The Dane stirred then tired eyes met Finan's before they closed again, followed by a yawn. But Finan had already moved back and Sihtric would never know about his moment of weakness.  
"There's snow coming", Finan mumbled, "we have to leave soon if we want to have any chances of catching anything."  
The Dane hummed, yawning once more before sitting up and rubbing his eyes.  
Finan knew that Sihtric preferred slow mornings, something they had in common. They would usually enjoy one anothers company for a while longer, talking about mostly meaningless things, before they would rise slowly.  
The difference between them was that Sihtric was dutiful, making sure to get everything he was asked to do done as soon as possible, something he must have been taught from a young age, Finan figured. Where Finan laid in bed long after waking up no matter what was expected of him, Sihtric rose instantly no matter how little sleep he had gotten.

The sky had darkened even more by the time they finally left Eoferwic and made their way into the forest beyond the town's walls.  
"Guhtred better pay us well for this", Finan grumbled, trying hard not to slip on the snow covered ground as they made their way up a small hill.  
"Just tell him the holy Cuthbert showed himself to you and and he will give you anything" Sihtric replied, seemingly having no trouble ascending the hill.  
Finan chuckled at that, following the Dane deeper in the forest.  
"Amen", he replied, crossing himself rather dramatically.  
Among the Danes, even the mention of the saint had become a joke and Finan admitted that Guhtred's readiness to do whatever was asked of him as long as one mentioned the saint's name was concerning, especially for a king. But in a way it was still rather amusing.

Despite their best efforts they didn't manage to catch anything that day, returning to Eoferwic cold and empty handed when night fell. But Sihtric was laughing, a sound so rare and beautiful, it made Finan forget about all of the disappointment he had felt a mere moment ago. The Irishman didn't even remember what he had said to make him laugh but he found that he didn't care. He just wanted to hear it again and again even if he had to give his life to be able to.

That night when they were lying in bed together, the distance between them seemed far more unbearable than it usually did. Finan wanted to hold him, as a lover not a friend. He wanted to kiss his forehead and lips without having to worry about the Dane noticing. He wanted to be able to let Sihtric know that he was loved, truly loved, that he was unique and beautiful.  
And his heart bled as it had when Sihtric had been taken from him because he knew that it could not be. Not now, maybe not ever.

He would be putting Sihtric's life on the line. Christians didn't take kindly to men that chose to be with men and Sihtric was a Dane. He wouldn't mind dying if it meant that he could spend some years with Sihtric but he didn't want to risk the younger's life.  
Most, if not all, priests in this godforsaken town wished to see Sihtric's head on a pike either way, along with that of everything other pagan and giving them a reason to fulfill their wish just wouldn't do.

"You think too loud", Sihtric mumbled suddenly, making Finan lose his train of thought. He felt the Dane shift as he turned onto his other side and soon enough he was met with his dark eyes, the glint of the candle burning not far away reflected in them.  
"Then it's your turn to tell me a story", Finan mumbled, though he doubted that the other would agree.  
But the Dane just hummed again, thinking for a while as he tried to choose a tale he hadn't told before.

"Then let me tell you of Freyr, the god of summer and sunlight", Sihtric started, waiting for Finan to nod before he continued.   
He spoke in Danish now and Finan had no doubt that he would struggle to keep up but Sihtric spoke slowly, used to talking to the Irishman, and his eyes studied Finan's face for any sign that he didn't understand his words constantly.  
"One day, when Odin was away, Freyr sat on Hlithskjalf, Odin's throne, from where one can see all the nine worlds. And as he sat there, his eyes fell on Gerd, a beautiful giantess that lived in Jotunheim, the land where most of the giants live. Freyr fell in love with her but even though he desire her, he told no one. He feared a union between god and giant wouldn't be accepted. But his desire for Gerd grew as the days passed. One day a servant of Freyr, Skirnir they called him, arranged a meeting for Gerd and Freyr at the cost of Freyr's magic sword. It took him nine days to win Gerd over, then they married", Sihtric paused again, looking at Finan for a moment, unsure whether what he had said had made sense to the Irishman. Finan, who was almost sure he had translated everything correctly, offered him an encouraging smile and so he continued.  
"Many believe that if he had kept his sword, Freyr would have survived Ragnarok. But in exchange for his life he got to spend it with the one he loved and it is said that not a day will pass where he will regret his decision." 

The tale made Finan think. He felt like Freyr in many ways. He too desired someone he could not have and if he decided to have him, he'd be putting both their lives on the line. But maybe he too would never regret his decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have tagged all stories slow-burn apparently but we'll get there eventually, promise.  
> I hope you still enjoyed this chapter and thanks for reading💕


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finan makes up his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously though is there a price for the worst summaries because I'm sure I deserve it at this point.  
> Either way...let me know what you think about this story/series so far.

Sihtric woke late the next day, finding Finan's side of the bed cold and empty, something that rarely ever was the case.  
When Sihtric had first moved in with Finan, the Irishman had insisted he sleep on the floor so Sihtric could have the bed for himself. But the Dane soon found that he missed Finan's comforting touch.  
He had feared everyone else's hands on him in the first month after the attack but with Finan it was different. His touches felt different.   
They were gentle and warm, instilling a feeling of safety within him that he thought he would never feel again after his mother had passed.  
Finan's touches also had the ability to calm and ground him, when they held him they felt strong like the roots of the world tree Yggdrassil that would withstand even Ragnarok, the end of the world.  
And so it happened that when Sihtric's nightmares had grown more and more frequent and more and more vivid, they had decided that it would be best if Finan were always close by in case Sihtric needed him.  
He needed his comfort less and less these days but there still were bad days where memories haunted him and he couldn't bear leaving Finan's side.   
The older man was his shield and without his shield he was vulnerable.   
Today was one of these days, Sihtric could feel it deep inside and Finan was nowhere in sight. 

The Dane was ashamed for being so dependent on someone else, a Christian to make matters worse for him. Kjartan would have had his head for being so weak.  
Even that small thought of his father was enough to bring him to the edge, force Sihtric out of his bed.  
He needed to find Finan.  
His hands were trembling ever so slightly as he got dressed and as his eyes landed the scar on his abdomen it only got worse.  
It was his slave mark, Kjartan's symbol, carved into his skin by his captors to remind him of his place after each of them had made sure to show him his place.  
Finan had cleaned the wound twice every day, attempting to keep it from scarring but it had already been too late.

Sihtric sighed softly, grabbing the coat Finan had gifted him from where it laid on the table before wrapping it around himself tightly.   
It barely brought him any comfort that day. It just reminded him how much Finan had already sacrificed for him.  
He let him live in his house, he cared for him, he brought him food and drink, he trained him and he gifted him clothes that were not meant for a slave like him.   
But Sihtric had nothing to offer in return.

He winced as he touched his hair when he moved it from where it had gotten stuck beneath the cloak. Sihtric hadn't braided it again since they had ruined the plaits, knowing that he did not deserve them. Not anymore.  
Now it was just tied up his hair simply, to keep it out of his face.

The cold winter air made him feel a little more at ease, helping with the feeling of not being able to breathe. But now, among the other people that filled the streets of Eoferwic, he was even more vulnerable.   
The Dane could feel the priests' eyes on him, could hear some of the villagers whispering and while he usually ignored them, he found that he couldn't. Not this time. Not today.

When he looked around he could see his captors' faces in the crowd, could feel their eyes on him as their mocking voices filled his brain.  
He gripped his axe tightly, knowing better than to stop, and quickly made his way to the training grounds where he knew Finan would be.

They had planned to train with Rypere and Clapa around noon after Finan had insisted on showing Uhtred the progress they had made so far.  
To his relief he spotted Finan right away, standing off to the side with Uhtred, probably judging the other fighters.  
It was like the tension seeped out of his body when the older man spotted him and waved with a small smile on his face. He trusted Finan and knew that the Irishman would never let any harm come to him.  
Feeling more at ease, Sihtric joined Rypere and Clapa who sat at one of the tables next to the training grounds.

Finan joined him soon after, oblivious to Sihtric's especially fragile state of mind. In fact to him the Dane seemed seemed more comfortable than usual.

Their training fight revealed nothing either. Sihtric was fast and focused as ever, easily managing to trip Rypere and hold his axe to the other's throat while Finan made sure to defend him against Clapa.   
The two of them made a good team, both fast and deadly but where Sihtric attacked quickly, Finan stayed behind a bit to keep an eye out for the younger.

They continued their training for most of the afternoon, Uhtred occasionally giving his input on what they should look out for and work on.

Only then, when the sky was starting to darken, did Finan notice that something was off with Sihtric.  
The younger must have gotten distracted for a moment and Clapa managed to hit him in the chest with the wooden end of his axe. Clapa was a giant and his strength was enough to knock Sihtric off his feet and onto the ground.  
Finan felt his heart stop for a moment, remembering the Dane's injury as his mind started to conjure up brutal scenarios of what the hit might have caused or what could have happened had Clapa held his axe differently but Sihtric was on his feet again a moment later, stumbling only for a moment before finding his footing again.  
Uhtred ended the training then and Finan didn't miss the equally concerned look on his friend's face. 

Sihtric seemed fine on the way home so the Irishman didn't think about it any more than that.   
He tended to forget that while Sihtric was still young and despite the feelings he had for him, he still deserved their respect as a warrior.  
He had grown into one of the most skilled fighters in town in no time, more than able to fend for himself, but the Irishman still worried, always would.

As they sat by the fire that night, sharing a loaf of bread in comfortable silence, Finan finally made his decision. He had watched the fire dance on Sihtric's pale skin for a while now, reminded of their first encounter. He had wanted him since then and he found that he wanted him even more now that he has gotten the chance to spend time with him.

"You haven't braided your hair again since we found you", Finan mumbled, causing Sihtric to take his eyes off the bread so he could look at the other. He swallowed, looking back at the floor again.  
"I don't deserve them."

It was quiet and for a moment Sihtric was almost sure Finan hadn't heard him.  
"Our braids...they are part of who we are. I am a slave, a bastard. I am no one. They...", he trailed off, trying reign in his emotions, "they took what was left of my dignity. Now I'm nothing."

Finan frowned, reaching out for Sihtric carefully. The Dane didn't move away, instead leaning into his touch instinctively to find the comfort he knew he didn't deserve.  
"Don't you dare say that" Finan mumbled, bringing their foreheads together as he had when he had sworn his oath to the Dane.  
"You are a warrior, greater than most men can ever hope to be and you are only just getting started."  
Sihtric chuckled bitterly though the sound came out as a sob as all the pain and fear he had carried around that day came to the surface.  
He all but fell into Finan's arms, his own arms wrapping around the other man tightly, scared that he too would see him for what he really was and inevitably leave him.  
But Finan just rubbed his back gently, waiting for the Dane to calm down.

"Their mark will never fade", Sihtric whispered once he had exhausted himself enough to stop his tears from flowing.   
"I'll never forget what happened, what I am and will always be."  
"And neither will I", Finan mumbled, moving his tunic to reveal the mark on his own chest, "but we can't let it define us. I won't let it define you...let me show you what I see."  
Finan reached into his coat pocket, fishing out the comb he had bought earlier that day.  
The comb was made from deer antlers and the complex patterns carved into the hilt reminded him distinctively of the tattoo that decorated Sihtric's neck. Finan had found it by chance this morning when he had passed by a Danish merchant's stand.  
The Irishman liked to believe that he was a good Christian, at least to an extent, he didn't believe in fate the way Uhtred and Sihtric did but finding the comb had felt like more than just a coincidence.   
"The tale you told me last night...it made me think. I want you as Freyr wanted Gerd, no matter the consequences."  
He thought of Allistor for a moment, smiling at the memory of his long lost friend. He remembered how much the simple gesture of braiding his hair had changed his feelings, how it had given him a kind of hope that seemed almost unbelievable now, thinking back.  
Even if Sihtric didn't want to be with him, he could at least try to give him the same hope, to pass on the spark that could ignite a fire.

"Don't give me your answer now. Let me braid your hair first and when you have found yourself again, decide whether you want to be with me. I will stay with you no matter how you choose."

Sihtric nodded mutely, turning around so Finan could comb through his long brown hair as his own mind wandered.   
Sihtric had never known love, not this kind at least.  
He didn't know what it was meant to feel like, had only ever heard other people talk about it.  
Maybe it was love he felt for Finan.  
He was the most important person in his life so maybe he did love him.

Sihtric wanted to be loved but he was also scared, scared of messing up, scared of not being good enough, scared of holding Finan back.

Still the Dane couldn't help but relax as Finan started braiding his hair, careful not to pull on the strands too hard.   
Sihtric's hair was soft, almost slipping through Finan's fingers as he tried to start twisting the first portion but soon he got the hang of it again, managing three neat plaits on top of Sihtric's head.   
He felt the small changes in the Dane with every strand he added to the braid, how he straightened up, how he lifted his head so he was no longer staring at the ground. His whole presence felt different by the time he tied off the last strand.

When he realized that he had come to an end, his hands were almost shaking. He had given up all his defences and placed his heart in Sihtric's hands.  
Whether he would break it or not was up to the Dane now.

Sihtric turned around slowly, his eyes searching Finan's, for what he did not know. Maybe, deep down, he was hoping to find a lie there or rather he was expecting to.   
Finan had no reason to be with him. He was Uhtred's second in command, his right hand man. He had respect, money and would get a portion of his lord's land as reward for his loyalty.   
Sihtric had nothing to offer. Uhtred didn't treat him like it but he was still a servant without standing, land or money. He still had to earn his freedom.  
But he wanted this, he wanted Finan and for the first time in his life he could have what he wanted and now he felt brave enough to take it.

So when he looked deep into the Irishman's eyes and found only hope and honesty there he took a leap of faith and closed the distance between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It finally happened, my friends. After a total of 7 , unecessarily long, chapters and three months they did it and I still messed up the scene on the fifth attempt woo.  
> This work might just end here(maybe one more chapter, maybe not), as I want to do the parts in Dunholm separately because they obviously have a lot of importance for Sihtric and their relationship


End file.
